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earched for excus▓es which might make her amorality if not pala●table at least understandable.●I realize now how much time I wasted in this▓ way; instead of enjoying her an

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d ●turning aside from these preoc●cupations with the thought: “She is a●s untrustworthy as she is beautiful.She takes▓ love as plants do water, lightly, thoughtlessl▓y.” Then I could have walked arm in ▓arm with her by the rotting canal, or sail▓ed on sundrenched Mareotis, enjoying he▓r as she was, taking her as she

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was.What a marv●ellous capacity for unhappiness we writers● have! I only know that this long and painf●ul examination of Justine succeeded▓ not only in making her less sure of herself, ●but also more consciously dishonest; w▓orst of all, she began to look ●upon me as an enemy who watch●ed for the least misconstruction,

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the ▓least word or gesture which might give her a▓way.She was doubly on her guard, and indeed ●began to accuse me of an ins●upportable jealousy.Perhaps she was● right.I remember her saying: “You live now ●among my imaginary intimacies.● I was a fool to tell you eve▓rything, to be so honest.Look at the way y▓ou quest

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ion me now.Several days runnin▓g the same questions.And at the sligh▓test discrepancy you are on me.You know I ●never tell a story the same way twic●e.Does that mean that I am lying” ‘I was no▓t warned by this but redoubled my ef▓forts to penetrate the curtai▓n behind which I thought my adversary stood, a● black patc

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h over one eye.I was still in cor▓respondence with Magnani and tried to colle●ct as much evidence as possible whic▓h might help him elucidate the mystery, but in ●vain.In the thorny jungle of guilty impulses● which constitute the human psyche wh▓o can find a way — even when the sub●ject wishes to co-operate The time we

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●wasted upon futile researches into he▓r likes and dislikes! If Justine had been bless▓ed with a sense of humour what fun ▓she could have had with us.I ▓remember a whole correspondence based upon the▓ confession that she could not read the▓ words “Washington D.C.” on a letter without ▓a pang of disgust! It is a matt

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●er of deep regret to me now that I wasted this● time when I should have been loving her ●as she deserved.Some of the▓se doubts must also have afflict▓ed old Magnani for I

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    Cylon

Appmo Newsletter

f the sun Justine w●alked into the dank calm of the l●ittle flat, dressed in a white ●frock and shoes, and carrying a rolled to●wel under one arm with her handbag.●The mag

clear then t

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showing through.Af▓ter the episode of the beach▓ we did not meet for some small time, ▓both of us infected by a vert●iginous uncertainty — or at least I ●was.Nessim was

hat in some

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called away to Cairo on▓ business but though Justine was, as far as I k●new, at home alone, I could not bring myself▓ to visit the studio.Once as I passed I heard ▓the B

perverted wa

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lüthner and was tempted to ring t●he bell — so sharply defined was the ima●ge of her at the black piano.● Then once passing the garden a●t night I saw someone — it

y s▓he did

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must ha▓ve been she — walking by the lily-pond●, shading a candle in the pa●lm of one hand.I stood for a moment uncertai●nly before the great doors w●ondering whether

not wish to

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to ring or not.Mel▓issa at this time also had taken the occasion to▓ visit a friend in Upper Egypt.Summer was growi●ng apace, and the town was sweltering.I bath●ed as oft

conquer the

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en as my work permitted,● travelling to the crowded beaches in the l●ittle tin tram.Then one day while I was lyi▓ng in bed with a temperature ●brought on by an overdose o

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nificence of her dark skin and hair glowe●d out of all this whiteness with an a●rresting quickness.When she spoke her voice ●was harsh and unsteady, and it sou●nded for a m

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●ne hand out and leaned upon ▓the mantelshelf as she said: ‘I want to pu●t an end to all this as soon as possibl●e.I feel as if we’ve gone too far to go▓ back.’ As for

oment as if she

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ha▓d been drink

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ing — perhaps s

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he had.She put o

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Apmo Team

e with her, for somehow the emotional ▓web we had woven about each other stood bet●ween us; an invisible cobweb o▓f loyalties, ideas, hesitations which I had n●ot the coura

Mohamed Saed

UI / UX

me I was consumed by a ▓terrible sort of desirelessn●ess, a luxu

Aya Mostafa

Seo

rious anguish of body and mind w▓hich prevented me from saying an

Osama Elwan

Web Dsigne

ything, t▓hinking anything.I could not visualize the a●ct of lov

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ide.As she to●ok a step forward I said feebly: ‘This b

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